Jessica’s New Dream

Posted on 17 March 2011

You’re looking at the cover of my second grade masterpiece, “Jessica’s New Dream.” I typed this book up on an ancient manual typewriter. There are chapters and everything! Sadly, it’s not dated, so I’m not sure exactly when I wrote it, but I’m fairly certain I was around seven or eight years old.

So what is Jessica’s new dream, you ask? Well, I’ll let you guess from the cover. (Not having shoulders like a linebacker? Enough makeup remover to get rid of that blush? Plastic surgery on those wonky, mismatched legs?)

I planned on scanning some of the pages to let you see my glorious childhood writing skills at work, but it was just too painful. While I have always been a perfectionist, it appears perfectionism lost out to the typewriter’s sticky keys that couldn’t erase. I apparently had no cap on the number of errors per page….I was just going to keep typing without starting over, readability or spelling be damned. But here are some highlights:

There’s lots of drama between two girls named Jessica and Tiffany. (Isn’t there always drama between girls named Tiffany and Jessica?)

Jessica works all month delivering newspapers, mowing lawns, raking leaves, and weeding gardens and makes $26.52. I wonder what year this was set in?

It contains engaging dialogue like this gem that closes out Chapter 2:

“If you ask me, it’s just a waste of time!” exclaimed Jessica. “Wow! I can’t believe you have to put up with it! How do you put up with it?” asked Tiffany. “Well, I guess I just have to. Bye!” “Bye!” Jessica hung up the phone and sighed. How did she put up with it?

The moral of the story: If you and your friend are growing apart due to lack of common interests, the solution is not to make an effort to meet halfway or have a heart-to-heart discussion or even let the friendship fade out naturally. Instead, you try to trick your friend into liking your interests! That’ll do it.

And I don’t want to spoil the ending or anything, but let’s just say the story closes with a group cheer and high-fives all around.

Any horrifying childhood artistic/writing efforts on your end? Don’t hold out on me.


7 responses to Jessica’s New Dream

  • Downith says:

    (Isn’t there always drama between girls named Tiffany and Jessica?)

    LOL

    Sadly (happily?) I no longer have such evidence. But I’m making up for it by saving all of my children’s.

  • amyg says:

    ummm…this title rocks. really, 7, 8 or full-fledged published writer age, i’d snag that title in a second.

  • Deb says:

    This is great! I love it! Jessica sounds like a determined little girl. How can you not appreciate that? At 7 or 8 I was a visual artist. When I find the box with the few pieces that have survived the years I’ll scan them into my blog.

  • I love this! Yes, I wrote my first “novel” right about the same age. My mom ran the booklets off on the mimeograph machine in her office (still remember that purple smelly ink) and I took them to school and sold them for 10 cents each. I think I sold ten copies.

    Ah, all that imagination and inspiration we possessed at the age of eight…

    Hey, you weren’t a bad artist either. That’s a damn fine rendering of a pony.

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