I’m Expecting! (A Book)

Posted on 18 August 2010

It goes like this:

Me: Guess what? I have good news!
Friend: Oh my god. You’re pregnant!?
Me: Um, no.
Friend: Oh. Sorry.
Me: I have a book coming out!

Awkward. And kind of funny, considering that the friends who have immediately jumped to the pregnancy conclusion know me pretty well – well enough to know that this is probably not news they should anticipate. Needless to say, I quickly learned to stop framing my book announcement with such an open-ended question.

For other recently married women my age, maybe pregnancy is often the next logical “I have good news!” event in their lives. But not for me. My personal bun in the oven is my forthcoming short story collection. I also recently described my novel-in-progress as “a 320-page bundle of joy and misery” to a friend, but since it’s still too early to think about publication, that manuscript will gestate a while longer. (Have I hit the maximum allowed pregnancy puns for one post yet?)

Frankly, I’m flattered that anyone would think I’m ready to be a mother. Flattered, but with absolutely zero interest in diapers and throw-up cloths. So here’s a friendly reminder: When a woman says she has good news, it could mean she’s expecting a baby — or maybe she’s expecting something else, like a book or a promotion or Chinese delivery.

Also, it’s probably best not to stare at her stomach while you guess that she’s pregnant. Just saying.

2 responses to I’m Expecting! (A Book)

  • KrisSquared says:

    Wow, that’s awesome! Congrats! I will look for it when it comes out. Do you have a release date yet? -KLK

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