Just what you want to be, you will be in the end

Posted on 18 July 2011

This weekend I spent some time with an 11-year-old relative. We went swimming and made bracelets and colored in the velvet picture seen here on the left.

Yes yes, please admire it. I am particularly proud of the multi-colored stone walkway.

As we colored away, I tried to remember what it felt like be 11. And I realized that in many ways, I’m still pretty similar to my 11-year-old self. Back then I loved writing, reading, and taking solitary walks in the woods — all of which I did this weekend. I also loved horseback riding and animals (yes, cats included) and nature and libraries and sugar and bright colors. Just like now.

I don’t know whether to feel comforted that I’ve stayed true to the things I love, or a little pathetic that many of my current interests still align with those I had decades ago.

Oh well. At least I don’t have bad bangs anymore. And I can legally drink wine.

What interests have you held onto from childhood, and what have you outgrown?

12 responses to Just what you want to be, you will be in the end

  • margosita says:

    I am also definitely 11 years old. And I’m into horses. I had a similar felt art piece hanging on my wall. I spend a lot of time scribbling.

    I hope this is some sort of recipe for literary genius.

  • Lyra says:


    You know? I am completely puzzled by this. I think I’m quite the same as my 11 year old self, and then I think I very well could suffer a case of poor memory.

    I’ve found lately, with the drawing and painting and writing, I’m touching base more often with her and am far happier as a result. I also find that when I don’t force myself to be so outgoing, when I quiet it down, I am more me, more relaxed. But that is all learned. I was a sad 11 year old, if I remember it right.

    • I think I was sometimes a sad 11-year-old, too, but fortunately not in an entirely awful way. Largely, I think I still have the same basic spirit now as back then (for better or for worse). And as my husband will tell you, I still get all squealy when it comes to things like ponies.

    • Teri says:

      I feel a bit like Lyra. I love the puzzlement of this post .. Well, puzzlement for me anyway. I was an egg-shell-walking 9 yr old, an independent 10 yr old, and age 11 might be my one of my best. Which also tells me how much ME depended on how and where we lived. I found fast friends and sports at 11 and was a happy girl. Much like now.

      • Teri says:

        Agh but. But at 12 we moved yet again and I became a nonspeaking, keep to myself, scared preteen. Strange how fast things change when you’re a kid.

  • Lizi says:

    Like Lyra, I was a sad 11 year old. My “BFF” (who to this day is one of my dearest friends) “broke up” with me for another girl and I was devastated. Sign of things to come for the next two years. But my 10 year old? Same girl I am today- in love with books and words and any opportunity to laugh.

    • I had the BFF breakup when I was 12. I think I filled an entire journal about it. Such angst! I remember mailing her a letter (she lived about a 5-minute bike ride away…I felt so grown up for sending something through the post office) that basically said: “I guess we really aren’t friends anymore and I don’t care. I’m only sending you this letter to let you know I don’t care!”

  • j a zobair says:

    I had bad bangs, too! :)

    At eleven, I also loved to read and write. And I hated cleaning my room as much as I hate cleaning my house. But now I pretend that the house looks like that because I’m busy being creative.

    • Sadly, my bad bangs (they got worse in high school with the help of curling irons and hair spray) stuck with me all the way through my freshman year of college, when a guy I barely knew was the only one brave enough to flat-out tell me to grow them out. I still appreciate his bluntness.

      • Averil Dean says:

        I had big, big hair. 80’s hair. We teased our bangs and sprayed the hell out of them to get them to stay that way. Mine refused to cooperate.

        So that hasn’t changed, anyway.

  • lisahgolden says:

    One of my favorite things to do right now is eavesdrop on Sophie and her friends when they discuss what they want to “be.” They’re twelve and it’s great fun to listen to the dream out loud.

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