5 Random Things: If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

Posted on 14 September 2012

1. Once, when I was getting a haircut (at somewhere like Best Cuts or Great Clips, because that’s how I roll if I splurge and actually pay someone to trim my hair), the stylist asked what I did for work. When I told her I was an editor, she said, “Wow, so you must have your own personal secretary and everything!”

2. A few months ago, when I told an acquaintance about buying the house, he said something like, “I’m not surprised at all — what with your book doing so well, you must have a lot more financial options.”

3. An organization recently offered to fly me across the country to speak about blogging at one of their events. This was related to my day job, not this blog…for some reason, no one is offering me all-expense-paid trips to discuss blogging about alcohol/cats/rejection. Sadly, I wasn’t able to go, so I’m still unable to add “professional blog consultant” to my resume.

4. Every month, an old photo that shows me wearing both a cheesy grin and a hard hat is published and distributed to a circulation of tens of thousands.

5. While discussing Living Arrangements with an acquaintance who does not read fiction, I said, “But the reality is, not a whole lot of people read short story collections.” Acquaintance: “Don’t say that! There’s that book of short stories that came out recently and is doing really well. It’s this guy who writes down funny things his father tells him…” Me, completely horrified: “Are you talking about Shit My Dad Says?” Acquaintance: “Yes! That’s the one! See, there’s hope for short story collections.”

Is the world laughing at you or with you?

Photo: rob7812

13 responses to 5 Random Things: If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.

  • Sarah W says:

    Number five had me laughing and wincing at the same time, Laura. A friend who writes extremely-well researched historical romance told me that someone recently asked her if her books were like Twilight or like Fifty Shades.

    “As if,” she said, “those were the only two &$*%&$*% options.”

    I believe it’s a credit to her that they’re both still alive.

    • Ha! But, realistically, those really were the only two options for that woman because she probably only reads those mega-hyped bestsellers. Or maybe she doesn’t even read them, but they are the only books she really knows about offhand.

      I am not actively trying to be a snob about this; it’s just true. (And now I’m thinking about all the bonehead things I probably say about topics I know little to nothing about.)

  • One day, when you come to NYC to promote LIVING ARRANGEMENTS, I will sneak in and photograph you. And I will send you the pictures. And all will be well in the world.

    I love love love THE CLARINET. My 9 year old just picked it as her school instrument. I’ve never played, nor can I tell you what the sound is like that it makes, but it makes me think of you and that is happiness.

  • Teri says:

    A collection of complex, interesting stories ….. compared to **** My Dad Says. Oh my. Oh JesusMaryandJoseph. I think I need to lie down.

    • You’re right, Teri, I should look on the bright side and somehow work this into a blurb! (Sadly, it would probably improve sales.) That sound you hear? That’s the death rattle of my soul.

  • Josephine says:

    it’s time.

    you have to accept that you simply cannot talk books with anyone who wouldn’t line every wall of their house with bookcases.

    we are not a normal breed.

    we know the difference between a short story collection, shit my dad says, and david sedaris. (they are all different.)

    we look at blurbs, not for what the blurb says but who said it.

    we can differentiate between traditionally published works, indie published works, and self published works.

    and most importantly, we understand what it feels like on both sides of the page…putting it on paper and reading from it. it feels good, and sad, and soul sucking, and exhaustive and exhilarating and boring and tedious and productive…all in the same hour.

    (you didn’t send your hard hat pic to Cat Fancy with your bio!?)

    • Teri says:

      “you have to accept that you simply cannot talk books with anyone who wouldn’t line every wall of their house with bookcases.”

      This is a lesson always learned the hard way.

      In related news, a friend from back home sent me an email yesterday: “Did you see that the author of Fifty Shades of Grey will be on the Katie Couric show Monday? I’m taping it!!!!”

      Le sigh.

  • Lyn Hawks says:

    Laura, laughing with you here at our celebrity-struck culture that dreams of our Great Gatsby finances and personal servants! I’m headed back into my garret to coke up with a homemade latte and pray some pages emerge today. Lifestyles of the rich and famous!

  • This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in weeks! Oh, my. Still in tears from, “For some reason, no one is offering me all-expense-paid trips to discuss blogging about alcohol/cats/rejection.” Yet, still. Why the hell not?

  • Recent Posts

    Tag Cloud

    5 random things acceptance American Literary Review AWP AWP 2012 book reviews books Bread Loaf 2012 cat lady cats Cirrus Cleveland Cleveland writers contests failure Fiction Writers Review first drafts Huda Al-Marashi literary magazines living arrangements Mac's Backs Mid-American Review NaNoWriMo novel revisions Opal Poets & Writers publishing reading rejection revision rust belt chic Saucy Sophie Kerr Prize Stories on Stage The Writing Life this is what the publishing process looks like tricia springstubb Washington College writing advice writing buddies writing frustrations writing goals writing groups writing retreat writing workshops


    Laura Maylene Walter is proudly powered by WordPress and the SubtleFlux theme.

    Copyright © Laura Maylene Walter